And it’s Good for Our Kids Too…
January 24, 2008
Every two years, at the Biennial gathering of Reform Jewish leaders – men and women, children and adults, clergy, Temple staff and laity alike – the President of the URJ delivers a Shabbat morning sermon during which he outlines areas of particular concern, and specific initiatives upon which to focus during the years ahead. Last month, URJ President, Rabbi Eric Yoffie, continued this tradition, and among other concerns (specifically, healthcare reform and Jewish/Muslim dialogue), called upon our movement to make special efforts to reclaim and intensify the observance of Shabbat in our homes and in our lives. His appeal could hardly be called controversial, for as the central feature of Jewish, religious observance, the perpetuation of Shabbat over the millennia may be the single-most significant factor in the survival of Judaism and the Jewish people.
“Reform Jews are considering Shabbat because they need Shabbat,” Yoffie said. “In our 24/7 culture, the boundary between work time and leisure time has been swept away, and the results are devastating. Do we really want to live in a world where we make love in half the time and cook every meal in the microwave?” “When work expands to fill all our evenings and weekends, everything suffers, including our health,” he said. “For our stressed-out, sleep-deprived families, the Torah’s mandate to rest looks relevant and sensible.” “We are asked to put aside those Blackberries and stop gathering information, just as the ancient Israelites stopped gathering wood. We are asked to stop running around long enough to see what God is doing.”
As it turns out, not long before Yoffie’s exhortation, social scientists publicly began calling for the return of regular family meals, such as Sabbath-observant Jewish families enjoy every Friday evening, as one of the most effective strategies for raising healthy children. According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, children who come from homes having regular family dinners are 32% less likely never to smoke cigarettes, 45% likelier never to abuse alcohol, and have a 50% less risk of substance abuse. A recent study from the University of Michigan has demonstrated that having regular meals with their families was a more powerful predictor of success and happiness than time spent in school, studying, church or synagogue, playing sports or arts activities!
Now of course, these benefits are not limited to Jewish families, nor would they disappear if family dinners are held on Wednesdays, Thursdays, or Sundays. But as Jews, we have the perfect model, which also happens to be our most important holiday and observance – Shabbat. In addition, regular Shabbat dinners teach our children the value of commitment, and demonstrate that as parents, that we are serious about our spiritual values.
Shabbat also teaches the importance of rituals, for no matter how lovely a Sunday evening meal might be, the inclusion of lighting the candles, making Kiddush over the wine, breaking the challah, blessing the children, and even singing Shabbat songs, provide a spiritual framework that elevates the practice beyond weekday fare.
I would add that part of what makes the Shabbat dinner unique is the manner in which it comes as the highlight for the entire week. We anticipate the meal throughout the week (and usually have to plan in advance in order to get everyone and everything in place), and then we “dress up” the meal with our nicer settings, cloths, and flowers. The pace of our lives having slowed, the Sabbath meal allows time for conversation, for catching up with one another, and for turning off the noise and distractions. (Maybe that’s why God invented TiVO…)
A century ago, the Jewish essayist, Achad Ha-am, famously perceived “More than the Jews have preserved the Sabbath, has the Sabbath preserved the Jews.” Turns out it’s good for our kids, too. [For more information on Rabbi Yoffie’s Shabbat initiative and related materials for home and synagogue, take a look at http://urj.org/shabbat/]
