Becoming Jewish Adults
December 10, 2009
On a Shabbat morning not long ago I sat studying with a group of parents. They all had children in the seventh grade, who had recently or were about to become B’nai Mitzvah (plural of Bar and Bat Mitzvah). The topic: what role can parents play in shaping their child’s Jewish education, in guiding their Jewish journey after the celebration of Bar or Bat Mitzvah?
According to some parents the answer is, “none.” They take seriously the sentiment behind the traditional prayer uttered by the parents of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah, thanking God for relieving them of responsibility for their child’s sins. This blessing has been dropped from the Reform liturgy, but the idea behind it persists: at thirteen years (some say twelve for girls), a child is eligible to participate as a full member of the Jewish community, and is considered of age to take responsibility for his or her own conduct. The shorthand for this outlook—and I have used this language myself—is that becoming Bar or Bat Mitzvah means becoming a Jewish adult.
Most parents take a somewhat nuanced approach to the idea of their B’nai Mitzvah being Jewish adults, and to the question of their role in their child’s Jewish life going forward. Our adolescent children, after all, are far from adults—and everyone, including them, knows it. We do not allow them at this age to drive, drink, or even vote; we do not expect them to support themselves financially, or live independently. Why would we expect our children to determine their own course, unaided, for something as sophisticated and challenging as building for themselves a religious and spiritual identity?
Still, many parents, wanting to approach their teenaged children respectfully, with consistency and integrity, find themselves struggling with the question one parent voiced to me on this Shabbat morning:
How can we tell our children one moment that they’re Jewish adults and the next moment that, Jewishly speaking, they still have to do what we say? And if Bar and Bat Mitzvah does not mean becoming a Jewish adult, then what does it mean?
One could teach a whole course on this question, and I’m grateful to the parent who asked it for prompting my thinking about it. Briefly, however, I will say that we probably should stop telling our kids that becoming B’nai Mitzvah means they have become Jewish adults. Why? Because we live in a very different world than our ancient and medieval forebears did.
It has been said of American Jews that we are all Jews by choice. There have been times and places not distant from where we stand today when this was not the case, and being born a Jew (all the more so converting to Judaism) meant a certain kind of life, within a clearly defined community. In our post-modern, post-denominational world where diversity is valued and freedom too-often assumed, many of the adult Jews I know have not fully answered for ourselves the question of what it means to be a Jewish adult.
What we do have, all of us who are B’nai Mitzvah (that is, thirteen or older), are the tools to learn how to be a Jewish adult, to wrestle with our heritage and decide for ourselves what are the obligations and privileges of our rightly and much celebrated status. Using those tools means a lifetime of Jewish living and learning. Not just for our children, but for all of us.
Rest and Renewal
December 10, 2009
Some four thousand years ago, when the concept of Shabbat was first introduced to the world, the Torah tells us that having finished the work of creation, God rested, shavat, and replenished His Soul, va-yi-na-fash. So in keeping with both longstanding wisdom and contractual agreement, the rabbis of our congregation, in the cyclical aftermath of seven years of service, have been afforded the opportunity for sabbatical renewal. Eight years ago, thanks to the generosity of our congregation and its leadership, I was likewise granted such a sabbatical period (although by mutual agreement, it came at the conclusion of my 10th year of service to the Temple).
The years now having passed, beginning this November, I was to have begun another such sabbatical period of renewal and regeneration. However, as I assessed the difficult circumstances faced by so many of our members and families, and recognizing this as a time of both transition and transformation for our Temple, I decided that it was not in the best interests of our congregational community for me to accept the sabbatical period as previously agreed. Instead, I proposed to our leadership that the six months promised to me for spiritual and intellectual growth might be divided into somewhat more modest and manageable segments of two month-long interludes. And so, that is why I will be taking a brief, but most welcomed and appreciated sabbatical spell this January and February.
Looking back some eight years ago, I think back to all I was able to accomplish during that period, and how I tried to make each and every day meaningful. I began my Doctoral Studies at Spertus College with an intensive course on the History of Jewish Spirituality. I attended lectures on Pastoral Therapy at Hebrew College, studied Bible with Elie Wiesel at Boston University, and explored Jewish Mysticism at Brandeis. I also was invited to lecture on Jewish Theology to a gathering of over one hundred Christian ministers in the Midwest, and laid the groundwork of research for two papers that would later be published in national, scholarly journals.
Without a doubt, our congregation was equally the beneficiary of my own, personal learning and spiritual journeys. Upon my return in early 2002 from six months of sabbatical, we began a process of introspection and change that would result in the long overdue and thorough renovation of our patterns of worship, of study, of leadership and of communal outreach, which transformed, all for the better, the very face of our congregation.
So now looking ahead to the next eight weeks, even though the time away will be so much more fleeting, I am confident knowing that once again, my personal rejuvenation will bring seeds of transformation and growth for our congregation as well. I have already laid out a course of study to continue towards the completion of my Doctorate, and I also have a certain number of other goals in place – including becoming more proficient at chanting the nusach – especially Haftarah tropes, and experiencing modes of worship in different synagogue settings.
I know that the weeks will pass quickly — in the blink of an eye, and am grateful to our wonderful congregation for affording me these sabbatical moments. I am already looking forward to sharing with you all that I might learn and discover, as I continue growing intellectually and evolving spiritually as your Rabbi.
Torah Portion Chart
December 1, 2009
| DATE | PARASHAH | CHAPTER/VERSE | FACILITATOR |
| 8/1/09 | Vaetchanan (Shabbat Nachamu) | Deuteronomy 3:23—7:11 | Jack Gendzel |
| 8/8/09 | Ekev | Deuteronomy 7:12—11:25 | Rabbi |
| 8/15/09 | Reeh | Deuteronomy 11:26—16:17 | |
| 8/22/09 | Shoftim | Deuteronomy 16:18—21:9 | Ben Gerson |
| 8/29/09 | Ki Tetze | Deuteronomy 21:10—25:19 | Jeffrey Dornbush |
| 9/5/09 | Ki Tavo | Deuteronomy 26:1—29:8 | Matt Sagal |
| 9/12/09 | Nitzavim/Vayelech | Deuteronomy 29:9—31:30 | Rabbi |
| 9/19/09 | Rosh Hashanah | No Torah Study | |
| 9/26/09 | Ha-azinu (Shabbat Shuvah) | Deuteronomy 32:1-52 | Peggy Blass |
| 10/3/09 | 1st Day Sukkot | Leviticus 23:33-44 | Paul Cohen |
| 10/10/09 | Atzeret/Simchat Torah | Deut. 34:1-12; Genesis 1:1-8, 26-29; 2:1-3 |
Rabbi |
| 10/17/09 | Bereishit | Genesis 1:1—6:8 | Jeffrey Dornbush |
| 10/24/09 | Noach | Genesis 6:9—11:32 | Ben Gerson |
| 10/31/09 | Lech Lecha | Genesis 12:1—17:27 | |
| 11/7/09 | Vayera | Genesis 18:1—22:24 | Matt Sagal |
| 11/14/09 | Chayyei Sarah | Genesis 13:1—25:18 | Rabbi |
| 11/21/09 | Toldot | Genesis 25:19—28:9 | Nina Cohen |
| 11/28/09 | Vayetze | Genesis 28:10—32:3 | |
| 12/5/09 | Vayishlach | Genesis 32:4—36:43 | Paul Cohen |
| 12/12/09 | Vayeshev | Genesis 37:1—40:23 | Rabbi |
| 12/19/09 | Miketz | Genesis 41:1—44:17 | Peggy Blass |
| 12/26/09 | Vayigash & I Samuel 5-6 | Genesis 44:18—47:27 | Ellen Bresner |
| 1/02/10 | Vayechi & I Samuel 7-8 | Genesis 47:28— 50:26 | Nina Cohen |
| 1/09/10 | Shemot & I Samuel 9-10 | Exodus 1:1—6:8 | Rabbi |
| 1/16/10 | Vaera & I Samuel 11-12 | Exodus 6:2—9:35 | Paul Cohen |
| 1/23/10 | Bo & I Samuel 13-14 | Exodus 10:1—13:16 | Ginny Dodge |
| 1/30/10 | Beshallach & I Samuel 15-16 | Exodus 13:17—17:16 | John Green |
| 2/06/10 | Yitro & I Samuel 17-18 | Exodus 18:1—20:23 | Matt Sagal |
| 2/13/10 | Mishpatim & I Samuel 19-20 | Exodus 21:1—24:18 | Rabbi |
| 2/20/10 | Terumah & I Samuel 21-22 | Exodus 25:1—27:19 | Peggy Blass |
| 2/27/10 | Tetzaveh & I Samuel 23-24 | Exodus 27:20—30:10 | |
| 3/06/10 | Ki Tissa & I Samuel 25-26 | Exodus 30:11—34:35 | |
| 3/13/10 | Vayakhel/Pekudei & I Samuel 27-28 | Exodus 35:1—40:38 | Rabbi |
| 03/20/10 | Vayikra & I Samuel 29-30 | Leviticus 1:1—5:26 | |
| 03/27/10 | Tzav & II Samuel 1&2 | Leviticus 6:1—8/36 | |
| 4/3/10 | Hol Ha-Moed Pesach & II Samuel 3-4 | Exodus 33:12—34:26 | |
| 4/10/10 | Shemini & II Samuel 5-6 | Leviticus 9:1—11:47 | Rabbi |
| 4/17/10 | Tazriah/Metzora & II Samuel 7-8 | Leviticus 12:1—15:33 | |
| 4/24/10 | Acharei Mot/Kedoshim & II Samuel 9-10 | Leviticus 16:1—20:27 | |
| 5/1/10 | Emor & II Samuel 11-12 | Leviticus 21:1—24:23 | |
| 5/8/10 | Behar/Bechukkotai & II Samuel 13-14 | Leviticus 25:1—27:34 | Rabbi |
| 5/15/10 | Bemibar & II Samuel 15-16 | Numbers 1:1—4:20 | |
| 5/22/10 | Naso & II Samuel 17-18 | Numbers 4:21—7:89 | |
| 5/29/10 | Behaalotcha & II Samuel 19-20 | Numbers 8:1—12:16 | |
| 6/5/10 | Shelach Lecha & II Samuel 21-22 | Numbers 13:1—15:41 | |
| 6/12/10 | Korach & II Samuel 23-24 | Numbers 16:1—18:32 | Rabbi |
| 6/19/10 | Hukkat | Numbers 19:1—22:1 | |
| 6/26/10 | Balak | Numbers 22:2 —25:9 |
